Friday, May 20, 2011
Well oops again.
I completely fucked up a whole bunch of stuff at the boutique yesterday. I charged a woman for a dress instead of a bracelet and I didn't even realize it until the end of the day. I also left someone else's name on a purchase so even though I charged the right card for the right thing - it had the wrong customers name on it. So she was SO mad at me and said she can never have another day like this - it can never happen again and she was so mad. I was so tired yesterday - I couldn't have any water all day - I ordered some and it didn't come with what I ordered - I didn't have enough money to order more things and I can't leave the store. I'm supposed to just stay there for 8 hours. There is no water fountain there and the bathroom is in the basement and I didn't want to drink that water. There really aren't any excuses - I was tired and I made a bunch of mistakes. I stayed an extra hour to do the end of the day report and she never wrote back. I feel so awful. Then I go to work at the comedy club and even though I worked my ass off I made no money. I just feel like I can never get ahead. The cigarettes In my room is awful.. There are workers next door and that is part of it plus he let's his boyfriend smoke under my window. Well what can I say - I've certainly been trying. I don't have any money in my account so her direct deposit didn't go through and I feel as though I shouldn't ask about it. I'm so frustrated and tired. It will be okay I guess. Well okay - she will pay me for what I have worked. I will send her an e-mail later and perhaps she won't be a s mad. I have to go and count in my change at the bank so my student loan gets paid. Ha!! Okay I almost smiled - that's good. Well no one said growing up was easy. And it's not. Bye Blueb. Okay I just realized I am so focused on lack and am I feeling sorry for myself? I just am scared and I want to pay my bills. I also have to take better care of myself. Her Lady Wonder said for me it's all about self care. Premium level self care. So I need to leave places and say no to things, go to meetings all the time and drink tons of water and avoid bread. Oye yoi yoi. Bye again Blueb. I am really stressed out and this isn't the MOST fun I've ever had BUT well - I just have to have some faith and trust that things will work out. Okay bye for real.