Monday, May 9, 2011

After doing some reading online

I have decided that I would be miserable porbably right now no matter what - I'm tired and I don't feel that great, my grandmother died and my uncle is in the hospital recovering from DT's, my sister I believe also has a real problem. I work around alcohol and drugs and I am very lonely. However if I were drinking and smoking pot, cigarettes even - I would be hung over right now and really a mess. I keep beating myself up for not being married with children. I have tot let that go. This banging construction next door is driving me fucking crazy -it's so awful - I can't take it. What the fuck? I need a fucking break I'm so exhausted and over stimulated. I seriously feel like I'm going to throw up. How am I going to do this again this week? How am I going to go to that new job? And do my other job? I feel like I am about to completely lose my shit. I need to get the fuck out of here and go walk the dog and go for a walk myself.

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