Hmmmm...

The show last night was success!! It was a bit too long but people loved the show and the videos and they also loved my camera work. I have to say I wish I was performing. I also wish I was making money. I also wish I got more than 5 hours of sleep and that whoever is smoking cigarettes would stop. There are guests staying here and I think they are smoking in their room. I love being involved in something for sure as far as the show and the videos are concerned. But I was there all night for this event - I video taped people getting interviewed afterwards and I helped before the show checking people in. I however was not paid and all the comics who were on the show were paid plus I saw him pay the photographer. Which he deserves it - but don't we all deserve it? I don't know I don't want to be negative because someone paid for part of my check for dinner for me and that was SO nice. He was being very generous and that was so sweet. He has been in some of the videos and his son was also - both are very funny. This doesn't make any sense. Okay I got paid once this week for being an artist/performer and it wasn't much but at least it was something. I should have gotten paid last night but - well it makes me realize that Larni doesn't either respect me so much OR think I deserve it or - well - there you go. He said he wants to take me to lunch and he was so grateful and he said nice things but.....well I guess I was right. OR I just need to say I need to get paid? OR I need to be grateful that I am involved in something well done and be happy that I am sober and that my career is on the mend. It's just going to take awhile. It really is. It's so frustrating - I want to be doing shows - lots of shows. I have to go (and thank God) work at the boutique today. I have to find a meeting I can go to afterwards. Okay I have to go and get ready and get to this job on time. Bye Blueberry - I will complain more later!!