Oh fucking really?

I am here at the boutique and it has already been busy. I woke up late again and I really don't know how I will get to a meeting - I really don't. I just suddenly got so tired. Work was great last night - I made great money. I can put money in the bank before work tonight and be okay for the stuff that I need to pay for on Monday. I looked at myself in the mirror last night and realized what I look like now. It's so sad. I feel like I work so hard on myself and I am so average looking and I am still fat. I really could lose 10 - 20 pounds for real. Okay - who cares - it's fine. I am exhausted but wired - a terrible combination. I'm okay though and I drank my green drink, took shower and did my holistic stuff before bed and in the morning. My skin looks good. I drank lots of water at work last night. I took my vitamins today. I want an easy way out of being fat. I want an easy way back into my dancers body. You could never tell I used to dance. I literally am shaped just like my Grandmother. The same gut. But with smaller boobs. HA!!! I got the gut but not the boobs - what the fuck? I have one big boob. I need to stop writing - this is getting me nowhere. I love you Blueberry - talk to you later.