It's August 24th so I have 10

more days till I have 2 years. Holy shit. It suddenly sounds like no time at all. So much has changed. But yet some main core things are still there. The doctor gave me some stuff yesterday to help clean out heavy metals. That seems scary to me. Boris is gone and it still smells like cigarette smoke at night in here. I have this audition today and God help me now I don't want to go. I think I thought it would get me somewhere - inspire me and well - now it's not happening. I need to look at schools. I can't believe I have to go back to this job again tomorrow - these JOBS. I heard a guy share last night and say how he took this job that he was too good for and now his art is better than ever - in a place it never was before he was working. I need transformation - another shift. It will happen and today I just need to go and do this - get myself to a meeting, get home, swim, meditate and go to bed. I can start a new book now that I finished The Help. I like it - it was good. I need to wash my hair - holy cow. I am afraid to meditate all of a sudden. It makes me so uncomfortable and it is so hard. The doctor said I should really bump up my practice and I will see amazing results. It's scaring me so I should do it right? There was an earthquake yesterday. Mother nature always wins. You know what else I thought about yesterday? I had Scarlet Fever twice when I was growing up. Once when I was little and once in high school. I also had chicken pox twice. Once when I was little and again when I was a tween and my little sister got them. The second chicken pox wasn't nearly as bad and the second Scarlet Fever was still horrendous. So maybe I could have a career twice. An artistic career. Just different? I need inspiration. I also need an earthquake. An earthquake is the world adjusting itself and it's GOOD. I need that. The meditation will help and that's why it's scary. Conveniently enough because I wrote this I didn't give myself enough time to meditate but I can do it on the train. He said he does it on the train. It's a beautiful day. One day at a time. Bye Blueberrie - I loooove you!!!