Thursday, April 14, 2011
My stomach hurts.
I feel sick to my stomach. I'm so uncomfortable with this guy not liking me but more than that I'm uncomfortable that I care so much. He LIKES me as a person - and it's not like he's rejected me in some way. And I don't know for real that there could be something romantic between us - I just a little bit put myself out there and it was very painful. Yikes. It will be okay and I just sort of feel ugly and - I don't know - gross but I got a good nights sleep and I feel better. I have to figure out how to sleep more when I have things to do and how to eat more consistently. That whole day was so fucking depressing. I was tired, felt bloated and gross AND I was hungry. I also shouldn't have eaten that GIANT burger the night before or only half of it. With no bun. I know that bread upsets my system so WHY THE FUCK do I eat it? I wanted to drink last night but I can say right now that I am so glad that I didn't. I AM SO GLAD! Dealing with that today on top of my residual feelings? Yikes. I think I should really join one of those dating websites. I should really get out there and date. This isn't going to just happen I guess and I really can't keep mooning over these guys who aren't interested. It's such a relief to have slept. I'm going to meditate right now. I'm so nervous. Weird. Thanks for being here Blueberry.