I just want to write a little bit

real quick. I feel so much better about that last post. Time helped shift that and I am NEVER going to look at that stuff again. Yikes. Okay I already went to a meeting today and I'm going to go to another one. My grandmother isn't doing so well so I am going to go home for Easter and say goodbye. I feel like she isn't going to pass but they seem to think she really is going to. She is 94. But such a hearty 94 - lived on her own (with my grandfather) this whole time. I don't know - I guess she has a bad heart? Well I feel so badly for my Dad and my grandfather. Life is so strange and hard. Constant beginnings and endings. Either way I can go there and come back and I can go back again if I need to. I would have been so completely traumatized by this if I were still drinking. Scared, out of it - not dealing. Ugh - I've cried a little, talked to my sister, talked to my parents....it will be okay. She will be surrounded by love when and if she goes. She told my mother "this is a bummer." Hilarious. Okay I have to meditate for real before my shower. I am doing that radio show tomorrow - scary!! Just a song - oh boy. Oh BOY!! Maybe OH GIRL!! Byyeeeee Blueberrrryyy!!!