Thursday, April 28, 2011

Holy cow.

Tonight we went to my brother's again and looked at all of my grandmother's photo albums and it was SO hard!!!! Christ I'm going to have to go to therapy for a week straight. My poor grandfather. We were looking for pictures for the wake tomorrow night. He was kind of upset about it plus we were all like "Ohhh I want this picture of me - blah blah." At least I was. There was some really amazing photos - tons of old ones and just tons of them all in albums. I am so freaking tired. We went to a meeting in Mystic today at a firehouse and my sister spoke. It is hilarious how into the program this woman is. She kept saying the serenity prayer on the way home from my brother's - hilarious!! As we were getting ready to leave my grandfather was looking at a picture of he and my grandmother from their honeymoon at Niagra Falls and he just looked and looked and then said "There she is." Then he tossed the picture on the table. It said 1949 on it and so they were married 62 years. I almost lost my shit - I was totally crying. I can't stand it - I swear to God - so heart breaking. I already washed my face and put on my sisters fancy face lotion and I don't want to cry anymore. 94 years old. She was 32 when they got married and she already had 2 kids from my real grandfather. But this grandfather was the only one I ever knew and my father calls him Dad. Chriiisssst am I trying to win the sentimental award of the year or what?? Jesus. On a side note my mother had a blast looking at all the photos and laughed and seemed fine. I swear to God that woman is hilarious. I have to write in my journal now so I can - what? Talk about the things I can't talk about on here. We went shopping tonight and I got some cute leopard shoes for the wake and funeral. Sad heart, cute shoes. Yeesh. My grandmother used to have a sister named Innie and also one named Winnie and one of them had a blueberry farm that we would pick blueberries at in Maine. One of my first memories is of picking a ton of blueberries and putting them in my pockets and the blueberries making stains in the pockets of my dress. I was so surprised my the blueberries leaking. I have to go Blueb - love you.

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