I'm back from Key West and

it was so much fun. I loved the traveling and the beach and swimming and my family. My one sister got drunk in front of me and that was so hard to take. I miss the warm weather and the sunshine. Coming back to New York seemed like such a bummer. The moon was full last night though and the alley and the houses looked so pretty. Pretty isn't the right word. The moon was just over the houses and the way the light of the moon reflected off of the houses and the crooked slope of them was awesome. They are all different colors and because they are so old they have such interesting architecture. There was a calico cat sitting on top of one of the fences watching me walk the dog. A lot of the alley cats watch her and sometimes they crouch down like they are going to pounce on her as if she were a giant mouse or rat. My father got old and I don't know how that happened but it is very hard to see. I see him all the time but I was still shocked. My mother of course looks adorable and she had a blast. She went to a drag show with my cousins and my brother-in-law. We all spent lots of time together and the wedding was BEAUTIFUL and sooo gorgeous. The food was amazing. It was right on the beach and the reception was right on the beach also surrounding a pool. Palm trees, lights, statues of naked women - lovely. I was woken up this morning to cigarette smoke - such a fucking bummer. I didn't want to dance at the party because I'm squashed up against people all the time at work and I couldn't take it. What a bummer is that? I am over this life here now - I can't take it anymore. I just want to go someplace warm and sunny and find a lovely man to have a life with. I want a baby so badly. A life. I'm so - ugh - I don't know. My comedy died - like a plant. I don't feel like I can get it back and I hate living here again. It's so dark and dreary and aggressive. Oh dear. I just - this laundry pantry room that they have created outside my room is ridiculous. Soon I am putting it back. I am. I am going to put all this stuff back. I deserve to be happy. Everyone was so nice to me and said I looked so good and that they are so proud of me for getting sober. Time for my coffee and to meditate - I did while I was there but now I really need it. My Aunt told me 5 times that I needed to start doing sit-ups. She even said "Now who can we hook you up with - once you start doing sit-ups???" Hilarious. Although I'm not laughing. Bye Blueberry - let's move.