Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Tolerate the feelings.....

that's what my therapist says will help me. Tolerating the negative feelings, the rage, the scary homicidal and suicidal waves. Jesus - well I tried it last night and after I got annoyed I just said to myself "just tolerate these feelings" and they subsided much more quickly than when I try to deny them. First of all denial will get me nowhere and just cause all sorts of other problems. Beating myself up is also just as bad. Well tolerating my feelings made it easier to tolerate Cretona somehow. You know Tall Not So Dark And Creepy has put more stuff than ever outside my door and I have no idea why I would listen to him - he is a very dishonest person. However I just am going to tolerate my annoyance at how - invasive and boudaryless he is as a person. I'm so tired - I definitely did not get enough sleep and I am so over the fucking L word and all these shows for that matter. I'm caught up - time to just lay in bed and read!! I made a vision board (just the board part) out of a bunch of cards I got from family and friends. I taped them all together - I like it. The vision board I have up right now really helped me and I am in the place I wanted to be when I made it. It for sure inspired me and I have enjoyed looking at it. Okaaaay - I have to go - love you Blueb.

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