Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Gramps died.

Ohhh - and I didn't get to say good-bye.  I just missed him.  They said he asked for me too.  Awwww - do you know he wasn't even my real Grandfather?  He married my Grandmother when my father was 12 and she had 2 kids.  He was the only Grandfather I knew - I mean - he was my Grandfather and my father called him Dad.  Awww - poor guy.  But he died warm in a bed and with people visiting him everyday and he lived in his own house until he was 92.  Pretty amazing right?  So anyway - such is life.  This wasn't nearly as hard as when my Grandmother died - I mean he looked like an elf at Thanksgiving - it was clear he wasn't doing so well.  This seemed to be harder on my father for some reason.  Maybe because Gramps wasn't nearly the ball buster my Grandma was.  So - well - so that was sad.  We went to the freezing cold beach yesterday and had a nice little dinner - then I went to bed at 9:30 so I could get up and be back here for the store.  You know the new year is coming in and if I could really just let go of some more resentments that would be amazing.  I'm so resentful of working here - which is crazy.  Or not - who knows.  I got on the train at &:20 this morning so I rode along the shoreline as the sun came up and when I tell you it was beautiful - it does not even do it justice.  Shockingly beautiful.  Even though I kept singing out "Cuuuunt!"  "Cuuuunt!!"  because some woman bowled me over to get the seat with the table.  Hello - there were exactly 4 of us getting on the train there was no need for running overness.  So I just kept singing that out to her and it made me feel better.  Sort of.  It also made me feel like a completely out of control douche and it made me just WISH that I could not CARE that SHE was a douche.  Let's get back to the shoreline.  The train rides along Long Island sound and because it's so cold out and it was so early - the light off the water was sooooo pretty and so simple.  I would see this beautiful marsh with little patches of water and  one bird just flying around off the water.  Or a larger body of water, the marsh and 5 birds.  Clouds, sun , crisp air - amazing.  How is it so beautiful to me?  I just absolutely love it.  "Cuuuunt!"  On another note - I hosted that show on Sunday night and it was great - wait - did I write about that already?  I love you Bluebie.  Let's have fun, and dance in 2014!!

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