Sunday, December 8, 2013

Beef stew.

I waitressed all day, went to a meeting, did some more grocery shopping (I FORGOT THE PEANUT BUTTER!!!!) and then came home and made more beef stew in the crockpot.  Can I tell you how fucking happy making that beef stew made me???  All I did was cut up some onions, peel some garlic, put the broth and the carrots and everything in a pot and it made me SO HAPPY.  How do I love to cook so much after serving people all day?  I absolutely adore cooking.  I didn't even really do anything but it was so satisfying - so calming - so WARM.  Okaaaay - last night I boiled 4 eggs and it was thrilling.  Haha - whoa.  So - yeah I don't know - I started to read that book again - Creativity and Flow and this guy is so scientific and blah, blah, blah about the science of creativity but what I just read blew my mind.  He said - basically the successful, creative people never stop being creative first of all - and most of all - THE LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYHTHING.  I have no idea if that's what he totally said and I'm too fucking tired to lean over and look at the book but love - he said they love what they do - and what I always hear people say is they would do it no matter what.  So for me - right now - is that acting?  I don't know - I mean I do know I'm just afraid to say it but yes - I love acting more than anything and performing on any level.  Am I in love with comedy right now?  No - or I don't know - not how I've been doing it - or how I used to do it.  I need to regroup - rethink - reframe.  Yes - and flow the love and the warmth.  Keep learning - keep going, keep FLOWING.  I'm so tired - I have to be up to work again tomorrow morning and I have a long day also.  Work, an audition, my friend's party and then my boutique work week.  good lord - you would think just working at jobs were what I love!  HAHAHahahaaaa - sigh.  Whatever - I'm grateful for these jobs - beyond.  Love you Bluebie - bye.

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