Okay - this day got better.

I woke up after a horrible drinking dream that just went on and on - and it was like a dream in a drea - awful.  I was sad - it's the anniversary of the awful thing and - well - that was so hard.  It's still hard I just somehow got my shit together enough to do a LOT of recovery work and I took care of myself - drank a ton of water and listened to 2 phone meetings and I am going to go to one meeting as soon as I get out of work.  I'm going to go home after that and cook some food and rest.  Get my shit together.  Get a good night's sleep.  Okay - so that's all.  I was so, so, sososoooooo grateful to have this job to wake up for today.  To get clean and showered for, and out of the house.  What a blessing.  You know it was freezing today and I was like "Oh boy - I better wear those big ugly pants with tights underneath them - I'm cold and I feel gross."  Then at the last minute I put on tights - STILL and cute pants.  I mean I almost made the CHOICE to choose pants that would make me feel like crap.  Do you know what else?  THESE PANTS ARE WARMER TOO.  Weird.  So weird.  Anyway - whatever - I don't know anything I'm just so glad I'm not drinking right now and not planning on it later.  Love you Bluebie - stay true to you - haha - bye.