Monday, December 2, 2013
Am I getting depressed?
I feel a little depressed or a lot - why am I even lying? This is anonymous (mostly) and what's the fucking point of lying? It's early and I'm awake - it smells like cigarettes in here and I keep saying to myself "It's not happening to me it's just happening." I keep practicing acceptance but it's so annoying and gross. Every Sunday night. All the time - ugh. I have to go waitress and - I don't know - what am I doing? This is so ridiculous. I'm getting so out of shape and - well - why am I writing this? How have they not sent me on one more audition from that place? How do I have no shows this week? How am I so lost? I'm so old what is the point? I mean I'm really starting to think this is really ridiculous. I have no drive. I'm fucking exhausted. Okay - whatever - 4 steps forward - 3 steps back - I need to drink coffee bye.