I think I got an almost eviction notice.

I mean - I know I did.  I have 3 days to pay August and Septembers rent or I need to turn over the apartment.  Ugh - well - okay.  The letter is dated 10 days ago - I wish I saw this 8 days ago and not - now.  Fuck.  Well - now what??  I have part of the rent - why am I such a fucking loser?  Seriously??  I just - I wanted to take pictures and get my career going and I get with that manager but now - I won't have anyplace to live so what's the point??  I'm so freaked out.  Oh my God.  I was so proud of myself that I went to a meeting after therapy - I didn't want to but I did it.  I could have gone to therapy and then gone to the comedy club and worked one show but - I didn't even think of that.  I just have to work tomorrow - oh - oh I'm so sad.  Oh - this isn't fun.  I'm - ugh - barf.  So barf.  I don't want to live with my parents again.  What did I think was going to happen???  The landlord would just never say anything???  I just tried so had to get my career back and now I'm fucked again.  This is why New York is so fucking hard.  Because the landlord expects his rent???  UGH - no - because it's expensive.  Ugh.  Okaaaay.  Well - fuck.  Okay - well - whatever.  I have to go - I'm so tired.  I do love you Bluebie - ugh.