What happened to my blog?

Remember when I made up names for everyone?  I feel like this turned from a weird fairy tale into - a diary.  Haha - that made me laugh a little.  The dog is still alive - she is literally bumping around right now.  I just got back from work - I worked and I made 138 dollars.  That's right - that was my big awesome Saturday night.  Sooooo - so I was lucky to leave with that.  I didn't work the first show but I did have to be the shot girl.  Um - it was so awful.  I mean it is so not the place to have a shot girl and - I'm dressed - we are all dressed in shitty pants and long sleeve shirts and tshirts - HA - shot girl?  Are you kidding me?  Aren't shot girls supposed to be sexy?  I was wearing dirty converse and old ass faded black chords.  Hahahaaa - oh boy.  So anyway - this is why I am writing - one - I feel very strongly that my looooong, slooooow recovery should be documented.  Why?  I don't know - I really don't.  I just know this blog helped me so much when I first got sober and it still helps me now.  That being said - I have to have fun.  I have to have some fun now.  I'm over this suffering blechness - I just am.. It isn't fun to sit at a comedy club and not be working.  That's not true.  I had fun for about 20 minutes.  I had some peanut m&m's, popcorn, nachos and by the time I went back to the popcorn - I was bored and upset.  Haaa - the bartender was like "You're back to the popcorn???"  Anyway - I need to have fun.  I don't know what that means but I know that it isn't there.  Help me dear lord of my blog - what?  Help me get work where I'm HAVING fun and it's not torture and where I MAKE MONEY.  Ugh - I'm so fucking sick of being poor - it sucks so bad to struggle so much.  Please - I know - Iknow I'm not nearly as bad off as some but come on.  Okay -s o how to have fun?  I need to go to sleep - I will figure it out tomorrow.  Fun focus starting tomorrow.  That's IT!!