Oh dear.

I'm down today - what am I doing?  All I do is obsess about myself - how in the world am I being of service?  I'm lonely and the cigarette smoke was so bad all night last night and this morning.  I don't know - I really don't.  I think maybe I should just move and go back to school.  The dog is still alive so that's wonderful.  I gave her some rice last night and she loved that.  It's raining.  I'm just lonely and sick of being poor.  Feeling poor I guess.  Okay - well - so there you go.  I took a shower today - I prayed & meditated - I just ate a beautiful, super healthy meal.  I guess I should call about the smoking super.  He keeps getting fatter too - how is that possible?  How can he smoke SO much and get fat.  Okay - well - I suppose I can only try.  Sigh - I will write back later when hopefully I feel better and have my whole life all figured out and great.