It's raining.

How's that for a title huh?  Well - it is anyway - it's raining and it's been raining all day.  You know the hardest part about being an extra - and I don't even mean from an ego stand point - just from an actual truly heartfelt place?  I can't express myself the way I want and need to as an actress.  HA - duh I guess.  But seriously - wow - I need to do that.  How am I going to do that?  I'm in such a different place in my life - I don't know where I fit in - what my type is as an actress - I don't know.  I guess a Mom - I read very maternal but I don't know - I'm not one.  Okay let's move on.  I will have to figure it out as I go.  I woke up after a glorious long sleep and because it was raining after I prayed & meditated I made myself a beautiful meal of buckwheat soba noodles sauteed with fresh garlic, fresh asparagus and sesame oil plus olive oil because I forgot I had the sesame oil at first.  Sea salt and fresh pepper.  Amaaaazing.  Also I started to put Silk in my coffee instead of that Bailey's shit (creamer not booze) that I got hooked on from the dude.  I did set a paper towel on fire while I was cooking and that scared me.  Right after I did that I had the wooden cutting board on the stove and I lit the burner under that.  It's so tiny in my kitchen!!  Anyway - it was fun to cook and what a delicious meal.  So now I need to get ready for this audition.  I took my vitamins and drank a green drink also.  I am really going slowly into eating healthy - buuuut - at least I'm doing it!  I'm going in that direction!  Is this boring?  I don't know I'm stalling - I'm sleepy and I don't want to do the dishes or get ready.  Well - oh well.  Um - what?  Yeaaah - okay.  Well - this was fun to write soooo I should go.  I love you Bluebie!  You are the best secret blog EVER.