Not good.

Not a good day - not good.  I'm so not okay.  I tried to tell my dear friend that I was upset and at the end of it - I just felt broken hearted.  I have a headache.  I feel very sad about this guy still - I miss him - or maybe I'm just having withdrawal from his attention.  I feel like I just made it worse with my friend - I just don't think I understand how to have relationships with people.  I'm so fucking stressed out and lonely.  She said really nice, kind things and I feel like somehow she told me to fuck off.  Is that rational at all?  I didn't have the balls to call her so I was chatting on facebook with her - that never works that well - does it?  I'm really so upset right now.  And the most terrible part is that I feel like I can't even tell her - I feel like - I don't know.  She said it was exhausting to communicate - which it is and then at the end said "Communication - yuck."  "Just kidding - sort of."  It was SO fucking HARD FOR ME to say something - so fucking hard.  I had to talk to my therapist, my sponsor - I worked it all out and then she says yuck.  It just felt like she was saying I was annoying to deal with.  Maybe that's just what I would think - maybe she was just joking and trying to keep it light.  I don't know - I'm so sad right now.  I just don't understand anything and I am so upset right now.  I think I might be having caffeine withdrawal.  The lady on the phone I just ordered my tea from just hurt my feelings so I guess it's safe to say I am overly sensitive right now.  Well - okay - bye.