Holy fucknuts.

These fucking people staying here are so fucking loud it's insane. Plus one of them obviously plays the piano - fuuuuck. I had the worst drunk dream last night - oh my lord. I woke up from it just now - it really scared me. I was at some fancy concert - like an opera - all dressed up with these crazy high heels on - the were gorgeous but insane - I could barely walk in them.....I got a hair cut and somewhere in there - because I was so stressed out - I drank champagne. A lot of champagne. I was running around all stupid at my haircut - hitting on the stylist and also some other guy who had a girlfriend. Then I suddenly worked there or someplace like the boutique and my friend got mad at me at the opera because she said my attitude sucked. As I was paying for my haircut I was like "I'm crazy!!!" But the guy who was charging me didn't think it was funny. Then I left and I was alone trying to walk around in my heels and I wanted to drink more only I realized it wasn't fun - ever - and I was sort of drunk and starting to get hung over feeling. I HATE that feeling. I really thought I drank - it was so awful. I was saying to myself "See - you let your program get lacks and now you drank and it was awful and that's what happens." I'm not writing this well - I'm so freaked out. What is the good part? I DID NOT DRINK OR DO DRUGS!! I am awake and I am going to go get a birthday facial with one of my dearest, favorite friends. I fed the dog and I will walk her and I have a job to go to tomorrow where there will be no alcohol present. I will go to a meeting tonight and in fact - maybe 2. I can go to one tomorrow night and also - everyday or night. I'm shaking. It was just so gross - how my drinking was at the end - gross feeling and never fun. Just awful. And if it was ever fun I usually woke up and found out it actually wasn't fun. Okay - wow - more positive, more positive. I bought myself a cute dress and a pretty top yesterday. I also had a super healthy dinner and I walked, talked to my sponsor and went to a meeting. That lady actually just said "Shhhh." They have been yelling to each other all morning AND playing the piano - now she says shhhh. Christ - I need breakfast and to laugh please.