it's nice to see you. As I was falling asleep last night I tried to think of all the things I did right during the day. I fell asleep before I could really get a solid list together. But when I woke up I was thinking how a year ago I was hobbling around - especially when I woke up in the morning and when I would get out of the cab after work. That is much MUCH better now. I'm feeling much less sore and I can walk around just fine. I am going to write on here and then I am going to call about that next overdue bill. My rent is paid and I started reading a book the other night "Think and Grow Rich." I'm going to keep reading about it everyday and any other books I need to read about becoming successful. It has occurred to me that the reason why I don't "know" what I want is because I'm afraid to say what I want and because I feel like I don't deserve what I want. Well the better I take care of myself the less I feel that way. I MISS doing comedy and I MISS being funny. I want to be funny and creative and colorful and healthy. I want to be passionate, helpful, kind and strong. I want to be fully alive in myself and let the Tao express itself through me. I want to be balanced and loving towards myself and others. I want to be an artist of love. Haha that was funny. But I kind of mean it. I don't know what I mean. I want to write and perform and I MISS dancing SO MOTHER FUCKING MUCH!!! Having said all that I don't think I am coming from a fearful place when I say that I don't know what framework that that all comes in. I really don't. I do know that if I can figure out what I want I can go towards it with a gusto. So I'm going to meditate and pray. Pray for an answer from God and the Universe. I'm going to pray for Inspiration. I have the answer inside of me and in my dreams. I know that I do. I just need also a sign from the awakened world. During my travels today I will see what the world provides. Look for signs - be open for Inspiration. Soon it will be a year since I started this blog. That will be interesting to see the changes. Okay - time to pray and meditate. Love you Blueb.
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