Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Still bored out of my fucking mind....

but.......I am watching The L Word and I don't know - something has got to happen. Tall Not So Dark And Creepy has been playing the guzheng all day long and it makes me realize once again that he just HAS to make noise in some way. This book I'm reading is so mind blowing. IT says that alcohol surpresses the feminine urge and sedates and that cigarettes surpresses the male aspect of desiring to control by by in control of the cigarette it surpresses emotions and get THIS marijuana does BOTH. Christ - and he was so smart and at one point gave up cigarettes and alcohol and just does what works easiest - marijuana. This seems so ridiculous - I'm blogging about someone else's writing, judging someone and all while I'm listening to The L Word at the same time. Who the fuck am I? I am for sure in part feeling sorry for myslef but SERIOUSLY I need to have sex again and I mean guilt free, healthy sex. This house turns me off and that is exactly what happened to me growing up. Okay fine - not so weird but as an adult to not feel like I can have sex is weird and fucking unhealthy and it fills me with rage. Not only that but everyone else has sex and Tall Not So Dark And Creepy has sex ALL the time. I'm not kidding - today the doorbell rang and he brought someone into his room. HE HAS A BOYFRIEND WHO LIVES HERE!!! Gross but more than gross it's - so - tyranical or something. Why would you want people to not have sex or for that matter never leave the house or for THAT MATTER how the fuck are you GAY and you hate lesbians? Ugh - no wonder I gained 30 pounds. I lost A LOT of it first of all but...anyway I have some serious issues I need to work out. I WANTED to live here!! Ha!! I prayed and fucking meditated for it. Christ. I never have fun and I definetely don't have sex fun. I brought my dog tot he vet and because wasn't a disaster it was fun. Sort of fun. Fuck my life is seriously ridiculous but it's less painful than it used to be. Frued said we create the same life situations to master our feelings. So far no dice Sigmund.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my GOD plus I heard him unlock the rooms to BOTH guest rooms and go in there!!! Why? Why does he do that? Why do you open up your house to people and deny their privacy? It's so totally fucked up. Why am I here? Christ.

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