Friday, November 12, 2010

Chriiiiiiissstt

For Christ's Sake!! What the fuck?? I'm having a technology breakdown day. My phone is fucked up, the printer got fucked up, my phone wouldn't send pictures and I'm pretty sure the texting isn't going through correctly. I have a sponsee now - but it's FREAKING me out. I'm so worried - I don't know what to do and I'm worried she is going to reject me or I'm going to upset her or SHE'S GOING TO REJECT ME!!!! Even though she basically asked me twice. Chriiiiisssssttt!! I also just got my . which is horrifying. Not horrifying - it's beautiful - I'm a woman. Fuck that I wish I could sit in a cave for 4 days. A heated cave with a heated pool and cable. Chriiiisst. So - now I'm worried about work - that it won't be busy and she won't call me till 6. I feel like I'm going to barf. I need to calm down. I'm not so great at calming down once I get uncalm. Well I think this is helping. Wowzers I'm a - ohhhh right and this is what else I wanted to say!! There was this - fuck - this isn't nice but there is this crazy chick who comes to the meetings - we used to be friends and then she FREAKED ME OUT - and I mean freaked me out - like done. And I pray for her and do all - fuck - I just don't like her and I don't like how it makes me feel to not like her. And don't believe her - I just don't. It feels awful to say that but I just don't. I think my sponsee saw me looking at her like she was crazy - I know she did - she looked at me. It's so unloving. I need to pray right now before I get in the shower. I am filled with angst. I will walk to work and that will help. Okay - I did some right things today. Just so you know - I'm not a complete mess. Chriiiiiissstt!!!! Bye. God Be With You. Hahahaa.

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