I'm reading this right now. I love the Tao and to me it feels right inside my body to live by it. The Way is what it means. Gross - someone just hocked a luge. I guess it's what is meant to be. Just when I'm about to take myself really seriously someone hocks a luge. Haha. Okay so let's see - while I was walking the dog in the alley I was thinking about this part of the book about receiving. how a huge part of abundance is the ability to receive and how it is very feminine to receive. Well the left side of our bodies represents the feminine and this is the part of my body I have the most trouble with. My left ankle has tendinitis and my lower left back often bothers me. Um - well - that's all I've got but I for sure have issues with being a woman - even more with being feminine and if you want to make me really uncomfortable, get near me really close and genuinely compliment me. UNCOMFORTABLE!! Ugh now he is playing the mother fucking guzheng which I NEVER WANT TO RECEIVE. Fuck. Anyway so I was in the alley thinking about how receiving and love are the same and how years ago I thought in my head and felt in my heart (I did) how love is all there is and how it is above all else. But I didn't believe it in my whole body and it scared me. I couldn't understand how it could be more powerful than hate or greed or lust or hunger. That was a joke but not really. I feel it in me now. In my stomach. I'm VERY sentimental today - holy cow. Well so there you go - I'm really going to work on accepting being a woman and on receiving. Oh I know what else - I had no way of maintaining my love all those years ago. No way of keeping it clean, of rejuvenating it. So this is what the program has given to me. Love maintenance. Ha - I started to cry when I wrote that - let me refrain - I TRIED TO CRY - barf. But my nose tickled and that's when I know I'm forcing the tears. Weird. Not weird. Ha - and even then I still wanted to do it. Write a very dramatic, intense, poignant sentence and then weep. Hhahahahhaaa - that is so ridiculous. Ha. Okay so that is today. I have to meet Her Lady Wonder by 4 - no 5 and I don't want to be late and I definitely need to shower and I would like to pray and meditate but how can I do that with Crazy Pants playing his Guzheng? I wonder what that word actually means? I'm going to look it up. Oh My God - this is so funny - it means "Ancient Bamboo Argument." Crazy Pants LOVES to debate and argue. For real - he is an argument waiting to happen always. Debate I guess is more like it. Fucking hilarious. I have to go. I love you Blueberry. And I mean that in the most sentimental, ridiculous way!!!
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