No matter what I do I feel like

I'm wrong. I drink lots of soda water because I like the bubbles and I drink flovored soda water because I like - you guessed it - flavor. But I feel guilty about buying it and then having to throw out empty bottles seems so wasteful. I recycle!! I CRAVE soda water but it tortures me. I am in a constant state of stress and worry. I bought a new bed for my dog (which she needed!!) and a new coat ( which she also needed and I'm not one of those weirdos who has a whole wardrobe for her dog - I haven't bought her anything but shots and dog food in years - okay I bought her a sweatshirt last year but it's not warm enough) for her and I feel guilty. I drank a hot chocolate from Starbuck's and it made me feel guilty. I bought a pair of pants for 10 dollars from Urban Outfitters and it made me feel guilty. I also bought a pair of 24 dollar feather earrings and holy shit that REALLY made me feel guilty. Wrong and guilty. I think that I shouldn't be spending any money at all - only paying bills, saving for my future and while I'm at it I shouldn't have the fancy phone I have so I could save money. I'm exhausted from judging myself and feeling wrong and at the same time trying to be good but being angry about it. What the fuck is that??? My therapist said today that it will get better. I will feel uncomfortable for awhile and learn how to resolve my feelings. I also can't say no. I am the WORST at saying no. Ugh this is making me angry and making me feel badly. I have to be easy on my self and all I know how to do is shop. What? Okay and make people laugh and I don't even really believe I can do that. I don't. It's easier not to and pretend like I am talented but I'm too tired to put it out there or some bullshit like that. Fuck. What a pussy ass move. Bye.