Haha - I'm laughing even though

I'm slightly insulted. I"m not even sure if that's the right word but I'm annoyed for sure. I just went on FB to check for what I have no idea. A guy comes on the chat and says hi - who always flirts with me and a few weeks ago I met his girlfriend. Well she is wonderful and I'm not attracted to him anyway so now I REALLY don't want to flirt with him. Mind you he's harmless and he loves her but it's annoying. I've known him for years through comedy and I really like him as a person and I think he's funny and we have a lot of friends in common. So I chat with him when he wants to chat. WELL tonight he says what's new and I tell him that I'm going to do a show Wednesday night for the first time in a year. And I say - this will be good to help me figure out where I'm going. To which he replied "Oh what - you aren't happy where you are?? Join the club." And I said "I don't know how to reply to that." So then I tried to chat with him a little more and then I realized - oh he was being a dick and I don't have to talk to him. Ugh - remember Sweet Fingers?? Well that's how I feel around him too. Like on eggshells sort of - like he's going to be angry at any moment or like there is no way I can ever say the right thing or that he/both of them are filled with some kind of rage that I am sure to set off somehow. Fuck that. I realized this weekend when I saw Sweet Fingers and I instantly got uncomfortable and nervous that that is a sucky feeling. Why would I want to try to pursue some kind of relationship with someone who - well for starters - never asks me out (HA!!) and then also - I feel horrible around and I feel like at any moment might be a dick and get angry. Fuck that. So I said Happy Thanksgiving to Mr. Douche Chat (who is a nice guy as is Sweet Fingers) and hung up on FB. Seriously - I'm a person who deserves ease in relationships. Fuck that. What's wrong with me figuring out my life and doing a show for THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR and thinking that it might be SPECIAL and also THANKS for the support Mr. Douche Chat. Fuck - what an asshole. Well anyway - I need to work on my set for that show. I wrote last night and now I need to write again tonight. But I wanted to write on here first but FIRST I had to get my interaction with both Sweet Fingers and Mr. Douche Chat off my chest. I felt so much better on Saturday when I realized - oh I don't feel good right now!!! Retreat - RETREAT!! Got my power back thank you very much. On another note - hmmmmm - I'm nervous about this show. 8 minutes. Seems so short and yet so very VERY long. Okay - this is good - good. Gonna go work on that now. I miss you Blueberry Blogg!!!!