Saturday, April 27, 2013
I got sleep - woke up and wrote in my journal and did some "step work" right off. I feel better - not great but better. I have the day off now so I can exercise more, clean and get myself together before work tonight. Hopefully after a few days of exercise I will feel much - much better. I had terrible dreams again last night - just cutting off heads and hiding them - that's all - no biggie - fun times. Even when I drank and smoked pot - I never stopped dreaming - it's amazing I get any rest. What? What do I expect? All I watch are murder shows and Zombie shit - hello. Okay - I have to be really nice to myself right now - REALLY nice. I pay my bills - HELLO - I never used to be able to do that. I mean - I really do - I pay my bills. My friend said I don't have any responsibilities but I do. I have a responsibility to stay sober and get more sober and pay my bills and take care of my old dog - right? I don't know - this is just a hard time that's all. It's just all in my mind - I think I need to meditate for an hour. Okay - why don't I do that and see what happens? I will write back. I'm going to change my perception or clean it anyway and see what happens. Okay bye for now.