Just because I floss and pray doesn't mean Iook good.

It's true!  I look mediocre and I have lost weight and my clothes - most of them - don't fit right.  A girl just came in here that's a rep for one of the lines and she looked adorable - I mean she also looked freezing but she looked really cute and totally put together.  So - okay - I am going to work on that - the owner came in and she was LESS than impressed with me - for real.  Lord.  I mean I look okay but not - fabulous or even really cute.  I actually look like lesbian and one that isn't particularly trying.  It's not a good look for me.  OKAY - and then - THEN I joined linkedin and they show you all these contacts from your email and I haven't looked at any of these email contacts in YEARS and one of them is this man who I won this dating contest with - where we did speed dating onstage and I did comedy first and we won tickets to whatever the name of the hockey team is at Madison Square Garden and I didn't go on the date with him because I WAS DATING A POTHEAD WHO WASN'T EVEN ABLE TO CALL ME HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!  He called me his "Lady friend."  UM - ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???  Alright - okay - wow - okay - out of my mind - I - I don't know.  I do know - I am getting another job and I am working on my look and I am going to pray right now for those poor people who died at the marathon - fucking horrible.  I'm out of my mind - I am attracted to younger men who are fucking unavailable and DISASTERS.  Holy shit - okay - no offense.  What?  That guy was 8 years younger and this one - 14!!!  Although - good guy - good guy.  WHAT????  Argghhhh - I think I'm getting a cold.  My ear hurts and I have the sniffles - gross.  Bye.  It's okay - it's really okay.  What?  Bye Bluebs - love you.