I don't mean to brag but I think my

level of self-esteem is going from a 0 (zero) to a 5 - maybe even a 10.  Out of 1000 (a thousand).  Just kidding!!!  Out of a hundred (100).  So I have been realizing lately - ugh - what haven't I realized lately?  Okay - no - really - just because someone is creepy and I get upset (and YES I am still VERY horny) at people who make me uncomfortable doesn't mean it's their fault.  I mean I am my responsibility.  This woman sat opposite me today on the train and my feelers went crazy - I was like "Okay - I can move - I don't have to be upset and just sit here."  I was freaking out and thinking she was going to keep me from meditating and anyway - I decided to sit there - I got strong in myself - focused on myself and then do you know what I realized?  Once I stopped being a victim of this woman's energy?  And I have to say she had sunglasses on and that always makes me very uncomfortable.  Well - when I noticed her movements were all over the place and I looked up at her and she had her sunglasses pushed up I realized "Oh wow - she's an alcoholic."  I mean I'm not supposed to say that - I know but I realized she's sick & suffering and it had nothing to do with me.  I know - just like everything else in the world.  I just got sad.  I'm taking this ballet class tonight and I'm scared and I want to go to sleep.  Not because I'm tired but because I don't want to do it.  I want to do it I just don't want to DO it.  BUT I'M GONNA DO IT!!!!!!  I'm going to be all suited up in my new ballet clothes and I just feel like a poser.  Real dancer's clothes are all a disaster.  Okay - really?  I have to start somewhere and I miss dancing so much it hurts.  Bye Blueberry - I love you.