Friday, July 12, 2013
I need to get my God Damn Mother Fucking Power Back.
It has been almost 4 years since I have been fighting and struggling to get sober and get my life back on track and do not feel like the one thing I have done is get my fucking power back. I'm fucking angry and annoyed and I want it back now. I have worked too fucking hard to just whine away. That's it - I don't even mean whine away - I mean FADE away. Fuck that - fuck this. I feel so gross and toxic - I mean - physically. I shoved like 20 tater tots in my face super fast at work last night and I think it is KILLING me today. Maybe I am just tired - I just literally feel like there is poison in my blood. That fucking cigarette smoke can't be helping. I made myself a beautiful lunch and I just drank a green drink and I'm having some green tea. Hopefully this will help. Grease? I don't know - rage? For sure. I'm so tired but I couldn't nap. I WANT TO BE AMAZING BUT I'M TOO TIRED AND ANGRY TO BE. Hmmmm - maybe not. Bye.