96 Degrees.

Holy fuck!!  That's hot.  I'm at work and I have the lights down low and the air on.  I left the lights off till the air kicked in and now they are on low.  I refuse to sit here and suffer.  It's my birthday and I am making the best of it.  No one is out and about anyway - just a few dried up , grumpy people.  It's so sad - isn't it?  I feel like we either need to keep growing - constantly or just dry the fuck up.  EW.  I don't want to judge - but I don't want to be one of those people.  One lady who came in here just had that vibe of "I am not going back inside today until I make someone miserable."  Ha!  So weird.  I'm not sure what to do with myself.  I submitted myself for the few acting jobs they post on the weekends, I put on make-up, I looked at Facebook a million times.  Um - I don't know.  I ate too much but I stopped.  I wrenched my back getting a pair of underwear out of the drawer.  Ha!  Just to make myself feel a little older on my birthday - hurt my back picking up the lightest thing in the world - a pair of UNDERWEAR.  Jesus.  I used the air purifier last night and I thought it didn't work but my eyes look much better today so I think it did actually.  So that was a wonderful gift I gave to myself - that and I got new glasses yesterday and she gave me a prescription for drops to help with the irritation.  Which I have to pick up still because they didn't have it yesterday.  I just couldn't bare being home today without the dog - I miss her so much and it's not stopping.  I guess it never will but for now - it really hurts.  I have on a cute dress I got for 20 bucks from the gap and I'm doing my best.  Physically I feel better than I did last summer - less toxic, less bloated - less gross.  I have my apartment (as smokey as it is) to thank for that.  I can eat better and walk all the time in the park.  Okay - so I don't know - who knows what this year will bring - but for this day I am sad about my dog and grateful to still be sober and I feel blessed to have people calling me and sending me wishes for my day of birth.  The day I share with the Dali Lama and George Bush Jr.  So fitting.  Bye Bluebie - I love you!!