Saturday, July 6, 2013
Holy fuck!! That's hot. I'm at work and I have the lights down low and the air on. I left the lights off till the air kicked in and now they are on low. I refuse to sit here and suffer. It's my birthday and I am making the best of it. No one is out and about anyway - just a few dried up , grumpy people. It's so sad - isn't it? I feel like we either need to keep growing - constantly or just dry the fuck up. EW. I don't want to judge - but I don't want to be one of those people. One lady who came in here just had that vibe of "I am not going back inside today until I make someone miserable." Ha! So weird. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I submitted myself for the few acting jobs they post on the weekends, I put on make-up, I looked at Facebook a million times. Um - I don't know. I ate too much but I stopped. I wrenched my back getting a pair of underwear out of the drawer. Ha! Just to make myself feel a little older on my birthday - hurt my back picking up the lightest thing in the world - a pair of UNDERWEAR. Jesus. I used the air purifier last night and I thought it didn't work but my eyes look much better today so I think it did actually. So that was a wonderful gift I gave to myself - that and I got new glasses yesterday and she gave me a prescription for drops to help with the irritation. Which I have to pick up still because they didn't have it yesterday. I just couldn't bare being home today without the dog - I miss her so much and it's not stopping. I guess it never will but for now - it really hurts. I have on a cute dress I got for 20 bucks from the gap and I'm doing my best. Physically I feel better than I did last summer - less toxic, less bloated - less gross. I have my apartment (as smokey as it is) to thank for that. I can eat better and walk all the time in the park. Okay - so I don't know - who knows what this year will bring - but for this day I am sad about my dog and grateful to still be sober and I feel blessed to have people calling me and sending me wishes for my day of birth. The day I share with the Dali Lama and George Bush Jr. So fitting. Bye Bluebie - I love you!!