Blech.

I got in not one but 2 fights with my sponsor yesterday.  I should have hung up when I wanted to hang up and not answered the phone when she called back.  It was horrendous and I was having a bad day anyway.  She was really wired and wouldn't let me talk plus she was really condescending when I mentioned I got my chart read - she said (haha - it is funny) "Um - I'm sorry but I don't believe in that stuff and I can't have a conversation with you about it."  Okay - fine you don't believe in ASTROLOGY - that's TOTALLY fucking fine - I really 100% get it but she cut me off and she was condescending and it wasn't nice.  Again - I keep laughing because it's so silly but after I told her I was upset that she wasn't letting me talk and that - fuck - I'm so frustrated.  I got up at 6:30 to videotape myself for an audition this morning and then I just looked at one of the sites I submit myself on and it had another audition notice (for the same part) saying (haha AGAIN) "STILL SEEKING."  Awesome.  Well that's one way to get rejected.  I feel like I have to call my sponsor and apologize but also - she wasn't nice and when she called me back I felt like she threatened me - and again - wasn't nice.  Ugh - the beginning of the end I guess.  I don't know what was happening - I was standing on the street and it was SO loud - I literally could barely hear and it wasn't good - plus I was upset and hot.  Plus I was EMBARRASSED that someone had to say to me that they don't want to have any discussion about ASTROLOGY.  I mean I feel so stupid.  Jeez.  It just made me think she doesn't actually like me - at ALL - which is so - bizarre.  I just - I feel like I should call and apologize but I also never want to talk to her again.  This is healthy right?  Fucking fuckness.  "STILL SEEEKING."  Haha - oh my fucking LORD - I need a vacation or - or I don't know - to keep going.  I LOVE YOU BLUEBIE.