Sunday, December 19, 2010

The worst night at work

tonight. IT was so awful - I'm so sad. I made no money and I worked my ass off and I got so upset because even though it was busy my tables were empty and I said something to my manager and he basically told me to shut up. He was so fucking annoyed that I was upset. Are you fucking kidding me?? Then - look I don't even know how to explain this. If the seaters get a certain amount of people in the room for a sold out show - they get a 50 dollar bonus each. Well they shoved 4 of one of the comedians guests in my section and normally they would have no check. Well then because they wanted their bonus money they wanted me to give them a check for the drinks they got. They gave me a party of 8 that only 3 of them showed up for. I had empty tables and I was FREAKING out because I only made 100 the first show and - UGH - because they realized they could get their bonus money - gave me those extra people. This doesn't make any sense. I'm used to them being shitheads - whatever and fuck them but I did it. I charged them and so they got their bonus. What I'm most upset about is that I went up to Wolfgang and told him I had empty tables and a party of 8 that only 3 were their for and he said "Look there's a guarantee on the table so if they don't show up it's fine - calm down - come on whatever." He said something else as I walked away and his MEANING WAS READ LOUD AND CLEAR. His meaning which was don't fucking bother me while I drink heinikens and eating pizza. Fuck you Wolfgang. I thought he was my friend or that he would have my back in some way but he so did not. I can't believe him. I'm never talking to him again. I really didn't expect that from him - at all. He was really like fuck you. I can't buy my nieces and nephews Christmas presents and now I'm fucked for rent and I'm so upset. I don't think I'm going to get to work New Year's because I don't have good sections and do you know the worst part? They are fucking that place up. He's not taking good care of it at all. I had a spill at 2 of my tables and the party of 8 showed up AFTER last call and I was trying to take care of everything and then the manager yelled at me for putting a menu in the wrong place. This is the other manager. What complete pieces of shit these people are. What fucking assholes. Neither one of them takes good care at all. I need to get another job. I got suicidal after that second show. Last call means you have 2 more comedians to get out the rest of your 2 drink minimum, print checks and get the money from everyone. Can you believe this is my life? What the fuck is wrong with me? 2 spills all over 2 tables - 4 new customers to get 2 drinks out of, print checks, drop and get money. Do you know how much I made off that party of 8 that turned into a 7 and was a complete fucking nightmare? 20 dollars. One of the door guys actually had the balls to tell me that he was looking out for me giving me the party of 8. You would have been looking out for me if it was a party of 8 who were THERE. It makes me want to slit my throat in front of everyone and cover them with blood and if I could somehow take a shit on their faces do that also. I really just thought of that last part right now. I can not believe Wolfgang. I guess he thinks making 500 dollars a week is amazing money. Being sore, exhausted, upset, and freaked out is somehow an awesome way to make a living. What a fucking asshole - I can't say it enough. I never thought he would be such a fucking loser. He told me (in so many words)to go fuck myself. I went to FUCKING QUEENS in the freezing cold weather to do his STUPID fucking song that he wanted me to do. AND YOU CAN'T HAVE MY BACK?? Fuck you. I was hoping I would feel better after writing this but I don't. Not at all. I just didn't realize how little he actually cared about me. I don't know - I'm sure I'm not thinking clearly yet but in reality - he doesn't respect me - none of them do. They all think I'm crazy - that's it. I can feel it in my bones. When is it going to change? When the fuck am I going to get out of this pattern? I have to get out of this? I have to get away from such shitty people. They are all fucking horrors. A couple girls were nice and one seater was trying to be nice and sat me people the last show. But the real point is that the place is poorly run and I want to get the fuck out of there. I'm sick of it. I need to sleep. I have that show tomorrow which I hope is happening. I can't handle the pressures of the holidays. I'm so upset and I never get to go out and have fun. I haven't had a boyfriend in years - I just - I can't. I'm not really sure if I can do this. If I can actually keep going in this "healing" direction because I'm miserable and I'm really upset. Nothing is better. I'm still poor and struggling and not able to buy gifts for people and feeling crazy and working with a bunch of drunk fuckfaces. I had to claw my way to making the money I did tonight. What is the point? I need another job. Please let this go away. I can't feel like this. Please I am in so much discomfort and pain.

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