Getting healthy

is what I'm doing. Oh boy - that's a profound sentence. A girl from work who I shared a cab home with asked me what I was doing tomorrow. It was so awkward because I don't feel comfortable talking about going to meetings and people always think it's crazy anyway. Ugh - so I started to beat myself up because I don't have 2 jobs like her and then I was like - wait a minute. I'm HEALING and you know what??? I really am. It's none of her business what I'm doing anyway. That being said I could be a lot more active and now I'm going to be. I'm going to do that show on Sunday with my friend (and Larni's friend also) and that's a start. I also made a plan for Monday night. Oh cool - I just checked my email and that's a go. Cool - fabulous. This is what I wanted to write....that I have been really worried about making any choices in my life because I don't trust myself or my brain - right? I felt so sick and toxic this whole year and I just was worried that I'm going to make horrible choices. Well here's the thing. I'm working REALLY hard at being healthy and working more towards it all the time. SO why shouldn't I be able to make some healthy, reasonable (REASONABLE??), mature choices for myself?? Why shouldn't I trust my brain and my heart? I'm so tired and I'm not sure if I'm saying what I really want to say. I need to give myself a chance and trust myself a little. Trust that being healthy will guide me in the right direction. Chriiiiisttt!!!