Last night was great at work and I've found a new place to eat at that has amazing home cooked food and - I love it. I was just eating whatever was free from work and lord - no wonder I was so fat. Really - nachos and pizza OR Chinese food?? ALL the time?? And not "healthy" nachos (if there is such a thing) but nasty cheese sauce and gross chips nachos. Negative healthy. Oh lord - and the doctor asked me what would happen if I got hungry and just didn't eat the bad food and I said - well I guess I would just be a little hungry and be okay. Which I had to wait last night to eat and I got a little shaky - AND the amount of free pizza and french fries that flows through that place!!! Oh - torture!!! I did eat 4 french fries. 5?? Hmmm - maybe 6. But - well -give me a fucking break - I can't be perfect or even - that much in control. I'm - um - still in early recovery. SO anyway - it's way more money to eat like that but so much more worth it. I get to eat delicious food and not feel like I'm going to pass out afterwards. SO much better and cheaper in the long run I think. Well so now it's late - 3:45 and I need to get ready for work. I am so fucking amazed by my nails. They are actually getting better. SO much better. The lines are leaving my nails - unbelievable. I am so grateful for this. I am going back to the doctor on Tuesday - and I will see if I - what? Am doing better? Responding well to the treatment I suppose. So things are a little better. I now control my eating I would say 75% more. I was just shoving food in my face left and right and then coming home and eating more - so late at night. I even realize now that I get hungry only there is food in my stomach. I just get hungry. But I don't listen to it - most of the time. I already said I weighed myself at the vet again right? I lost 6 pounds since the last time I went and weighed myself. I wrote in my journal that I weighed 158 the last time I went there and when I went on Tuesday I weighed 152. I remember one time last year at the gym I weighed myself and I weighed 175. How do I bold with this thing? Maybe that did it. Right now it says Strong on either side of 175. I am not tall. That is the weight of a MAN. A STRONG man. Hahahha - oh boy. A lady at the gym walked by me while I was on the scale and said "Don't worry it weighs heavy." I was so mad. Or I weighed heavy lady. Lady - I'm such an ass - she was probably trying to be nice. I need to go and get ready - and take a few minutes to pray and meditate. I wish you could see these nails. It's absolutely amazing.
No comments:
Post a Comment