Scary dream last night.

It was so long and drawn out. I dreamed for some reason I was at a party at a bar and I drank so easily and for no reason (I wasn't upset - too happy - nothing) I drank a glass of white wine. It tasted good and that was all I drank. Then I mosied on my way and lied to myself that it didn't count because I only had one and maybe I really could just drink a little bit at a time now. The I was on cruise where there was so much food and drinking it was insane. There was a big worry about this really hot comedian showing up - Colin Kane. I mean worry for me because I guess we dated in this totally fucked up dream world. I hated this dream so much. Then it turned into a show where I was traveling with these people and one of them kept pointing a BB gun at my neck and when she pulled the trigger I stopped the pellet from coming out and this pissed her off so much!! Then everyone banned me from shows for a year and kicked me off the train. I wandered through the streets and was so miserable until I found this lesbian bar where I tried to order but 2 lesbians were pissed that I was in between them. I finally sat by myself and decided to spend my last money getting wasted and I would text my sponsor and say I was drinking. I finally woke up from the dream when I was sitting there with the beer and free shot of tequila in front of me and about to text my sponsor. It sucked. I woke up so upset. What the FUCK was that about? I was even lying to myself in the dream that I wouldn't get hung over. Jesus. I was going to spend my last money on booze and i was alone and so upset. Jeez. Then I just looked at my texts and the manager said I asked for too much money for my pay out. Which I always check it 3 times and she - ugh - we have issues. Whatever - she can check it again later but seriously - she is asking for 24 dollars back which doesn't make any sense. Okay - I am exhausted. I just need a day off which I have today. I wish I could have eggs right now. I wish I had a kitchen so I could make myself some eggs. I can work on my vision board more tonight. I found some beautiful kitchen pictures. I will be okay - I didn't drink - I didn't spend all my money on booze and I am 2 years sober. I got a good night's sleep and I am healthy and I gave myself a make-over yesterday. I did my hair and my nails. I cut my hair and I love it!! There is some serious money and time saved!! Okay - I need to pray and meditate. I didn't do that so much yesterday. On the train but it's never quite the same on the train. Thank you for listening to my panicked rambling Blueberry. I was so upset but now I feel better. Byeeeee - Happy Labor Day!!!!