Ouch.

Well I told my friend I was upset and they completely ignored me. Just totally blew me off. No response at all. Well I said I was upset and well - this is all going to lead where all things are supposed to go anyway. Maybe I feel heavy to them - I don't know. It is quite possible. Very possible. I got some sleep last night although still weird dreams. I'm going to help someone today work on their script and then thank GOD I have therapy. I got myself the cutest purse and pair of gloves last night after my meeting. I have been looking and looking for a purse and this one was very affordable, cute, sturdy and real. It was also the only one which is also what happened with the gloves. The only pair. I saw a beauuuutiful sweater on my way out that was cashmere and totally interesting. It - maybe next week or the week after. I don't need it. I'm so lonely. I really am - it hurts. I'm going to try a new meeting tonight after therapy. This way I will get home a little sooner. I'm still so freaked out about work at the store - it feels so shaky. I think I need to just look for a full time job with benefits. Although my Lady Wonder said you are never safe - only if you are meant to be. I got the dog a new pillow. She's on it right now. I am still so tired and someone is still smoking and getting it in my room. Not right now thank goodness. Why am I in so much pain right now? I'm so sad and my stomach hurts. I'm still upset about the cat, I'm upset about this person, I'm upset about where my life is, I feel scared and nervous. Ugh - well some coffee should help all this. This will change and shift - I know. I'm just going to do what I'm supposed to do and trust. Okay - that made me feel better. Bye Blueberry - thank you for being here.