Holy shit it's the 13th already!! Okay here we go. I have my coffee finally and I went to the store and got some things. I did laundry last night and I can clean up a bit later if I feel like it but it's clean enough in here. I got a strawberry plant in honor of my Grandma and it's springing to life in the window. I also got a pretty blue flowered plant - I have no idea what it is. I feel much more relaxed already although I was completely mean to the landlord and that makes me uncomfortable but also - ugh - he deserves it. I have therapy tonight and my meditation meeting and I didn't want to go but then I felt - I really - felt how self destructive that was. I need to go to the bank and I also need to get out of the house. It's a beautiful day and I deserve to take a shower and get out there and walk and find life. I just really get all twisted up so easily. I really do. Alright I am tired. I just had a great conversation with Larni. I just wish my creativity would come back - it's so strange - I don't understand. I feel like until I leave here I will never have the room for it. It seems impossible. All these things backing up inside me - it's very uncomfortable. I have to get ready for therapy. Bye Blueberry.
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