Saturday, June 25, 2011

Saturday at the boutique - again.....

I was in suuuuch a bad mood yesterday - holy shit. I tried to meditate and I could feel the rage flowing into my breasts. How fucked up is that? It was buzzing around my head - just a mess. Then I went to work at the comedy club and I made decent money and it wasn't that difficult and somehow I ended up being okay. I even woke up okay today even though I got 4 hours of sleep. Maybe more like 5. Now I'm here and I have on a $300.00 white cashmere sweater that is so soft and gorgeous. Ugh - I could live in this. It's an absolutely beautiful day so I might not be that busy but hopefully some people will come in. I was so annoyed yesterday also when I went downstairs and those guys were just lounging around. It just makes me mad that people live there for free and just - lounge. But not only that - they mooch and than they also invade my privacy and WHO CARES. I am saving money - and just because they live their lives the way they do I have no right to be mean. I am - however - entitled to my feeling and so that is fine. Unfortunately my feelings are rageful 82% of the time. 75%? I don't know - here' what I really think....I need to forgive myself. My sister told me to watch this video and somehow that's what I got out of it - to forgive myself. Look - I'm - ugh - what? I'm too tired to keep being mad at myself - it's too heavy. this sweater isn't heavy - it's beautiful and light. Heaven!! Okay - I should go. Bye Blueberry!! p.s. I might have to escape from here for a few minutes today - it's sooooo pretty out!!

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