had a drink or drug. Holy shit. I am doing a load of laundry, and I already walked the dog, prayed and meditated. I cancelled getting a pedicure with Larni because I don't want to spend the money and I need to finish this project for my parents. I'm eating an apple and I made myself the most delicious cup of coffee. I heard the landlord coming up the stairs so I shut my door just in time to not feel invaded by him. He of course went into the laundry room and checked on what laundry I was doing. I get to do laundry for free. It's his laundry room. Oh man. So - yeah - the same old struggle but slight changes. I'm losing focus - I need a shower. I think I will walk to my meeting. In order for me to do that I need to leave when? At 4 I guess to get there just in time? I should leave at 3:30. I need to get out of the house - I never left Harlem all day yesterday!! That was fun actually - I needed it. But now I need to get out of the area for at least a little bit. A walk and a meeting. Oooo - I want to look at this date this time last year - hold please. Oh wow - okay. That was strange. June and July I didn't write much. I was limping because of my leg and I also was at my parents house and at the time my mother didn't have a computer. That was part of why I gained so much weight!! I wasn't doing anything. Oh sadness - I was in a much worse place than I am now. Acceptance. Okay - yes. For real. I don't smell anymore so that's good and I'm not limping like I was - or not really at all. What else? Time for a poem.
Although rage still lives inside me - as it tries to make it's way out
I live inside my sorrow but try to look about
For love, kindness and plenty
Upon the shores of love,
I try not to care what you think while at the same time
I hate.
But I try not to.
Bye Blueberry!!!!!
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