Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Responsibility......

So the meeting I went to last night was about SEXUALITY - being SOBER SEXUALLY - which I DO NOT WANT TO DO.  I don't want to but guess what?  Not being responsible - in any area of my life - if I want to keep growing in my sobriety - isn't going to work for me anymore.  So.  So now I am at another crossroads?  Is it really that dramatic?  I don't think so - I just simply don't have sex - or date anyone - so am I dry sexually?  What and ew?  Like a dry alcoholic?  A dry sexanon?  What am I talking about?  I can't even write about this I'm so uncomfortable.  Fine - okay - so I already said it and now I will let the thought sink into me (SINK INTO ME PLEASE!!!) - I want to be responsible for my sexual life and that includes me being responsible for the other person also.  What?  I just want to have sex again before I'm 95.  In a healthy way - is that possible?  Okay on another note there is a crazy snowstorm and I am just sitting here at the boutique watching cars slowly go by and spin their tires - it's so terrifying.  Omg!!  The owner came in just as I was typing this and just as - ugh I had like 50 windows open on the computer - Jesus.  Oh and I'm wearing a 400 dollar sweater.  IT'S COLD IN HERE!!  Awkward.  At least I wasn't crying - right?  How does this job stress me out so much?  I'm going to hang up now dear sweet Bluebers - I love you bye. 

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