Class tonight and then everything changed.....

First of all - I looked completely different after I left and I was able to stop thinking about myself and the mess I made over the weekend and even FOOD for at least 20 minutes at one point - WHAT a miracle.  The other thing was my scene partner - lord - the poor guy - he was being SO handsy and he had on A LOT of cologne and I was annoyed and felt myself getting annoyed and - all my old habits of just not ACTING.  He was being very directory and whatnot but really - it's his scene.  Anyway - I just decided to go with it, be open and let my attitude go.  It was fine and then I wasn't going to work on my OWN thing because I hadn't worked on it ALL weekend.  Why?  Because I was FLIPPING out instead of being creative.  I felt so much different after working with the teacher and my scene partner - who by the way is no longer my scene partner because his poor Mom is dying in his living room and he doesn't have time?  I don't know - but I do know - I LOVE TO PERFORM AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MYSELF.  Jesus.  I felt so sick after being at that store today and after class my HAIR even looked different.  I was even able to go to the store and not buy the chicken sandwich I had in my hand and just got some nuts instead.  Then I came here, walked the dog and instead of watching Bones, House and Castle I'm writing on here.  Look - I'm just practicing radical acceptance.  This is the way things are right now and at least I have a place to come home to, clean clothes, a sweet dog and food.  Oh and at least once a week - sometimes twice - I get to be in a class that I love and feels SO abundant.  I have to rest and work tomorrow.  Love you Bluebie!!