Attitude Adjustment.

I went to work last night and at first it did seem like everyone hated me and I just accepted it and decided to breathe - to just breathe - so I did.  Then it occurred to me (and seriously - how fucking ridiculous is this?) how hard it is for everyone - to get up in the morning, make money, have a life - deal with problems.....then I also realized how much I HATE my tables - the people - before I even get to them and how my thought pattern is always "I'm in pain - my body hurts - it's so hard to get in between these tables" on & on & on......THEN the other girl who I was working with said how easy it is to work there and I realized what a shitty attitude I have and I was on my best behavior all night.  I also usually get there and especially after being at that store and just act like a MANIAC - all sorts of grumpiness and expression and this is boring but LOOK - I was on better behavior and had a better attitude and it was a better night.  I still should move past there and I don't need to trust everyone or even like everyone who works there but I am not their fault.  I am responsible for myself.  Adjustment - all the time in lots of ways.  It's like clothes - sometimes I need more, sometimes less.  Jesus - this is seriously - taking me so long to change and grow.  This is why I drank - I think the world owes me something - all the time.  Jesus and I have so much to be grateful for.  I'm so glad I didn't just quit that job.  Dear Lord - okay - bye Bluebers.