Sooo - the boring saga continues.....

She still hasn't paid me (I said this was boring) but I have gotten more exercise and saved more money these last 3 days - than - I would have if she paid me on time.  Here's the thing - it's not her fault I'm bad with money.  And I'm SO much better than I used to be!!  I'm also realizing my attitude sucks.  I woke up so late and I was PISSED again that there was no money in my account but I ALWAYS wake up pissed - for real - and late for that matter.  I mean come on.  I read the next chapter of The Prosperous Heart this week - finishing it last night before I went to bed and guess who doesn't have a prosperous heart?  I think maybe I used to?  Or maybe I have one under a layer of coal?  I'm not sure.  I do know that I can not blame this woman who I work for for my existential angst.  It's rainy today and I walked to the subway at 125th and Park - it's about a 30 minute walk - awesome.  I'm eating a green apple and I brought coffee I made at home.  I have enough money to but a big bottle of water and I brought nuts, nut bars and a bag of quinua clusters.  What are they?  I have no idea - we will see.  Oh and dried cherries!!  I love dried cherries.  So what the fuck?  I can get a job somewhere else - I can move - I have options - I'm free and I have talents.  I sold over $2000 yesterday.  Look - I don't like looking at this - but the reality is - I'm still twisted up - I need to untangle this tangle and it's not her fault.  That being said - Jesus - I really wanted to take money out of the cash box but I didn't.  I refuse to act poorly because she hasn't paid me.  At some point when I'm not as angry I will have to say something.  Maybe.  Christ.  Byeeee Bluebie.