When was the last time I wrote on here??

I have had a busy - sort of - couple of days. I saw my cousin - spent time with her and her husband. He is a nice guy. They bought me lunch and it was very sweet. I really needed more alone time that day and on Friday and I spent all day yesterday trying to recover from the weekend. I have got to learn not only to say no to people but to also just say - I need that day to myself - that's all. I am exhausted. I have to work tomorrow at the boutique for my friend - ugh. I managed to say no to her last night when she asked me to come in for 4 hours today. I said I had to run the meeting which isn't true - but when I said it - I mean it. I used to run the meeting on this day. Jesus - I am exhausted. I stayed up till past 4 the last 2 nights watching SVU. That show is so intense - holy cow. It's cold and fallish out and now I want to go to sleep for 4 days. I really - uh oh - I feel like I am getting depressed. What I really feel like is that I am getting a cold or something. I hate these jobs - I can't do it anymore - it's so awful. Okay - I just can't go to that big meeting tonight - I really can't. I need some coffee right now and maybe I will feel better. It's not just a meeting it's also going out afterwards and celebrating someones 90 days. I need to write and work on my art and finish this vision board. I just can't - I really can't. I already feel so used up after this weekend. I need a new job. One job. Or I need to figure out how to change the hours of these jobs. I'm so resentful that my time was taken on my days off. I - didn't say no - or even - just - hold on - let me think about it. I went to therapy yesterday and talked about it, then I bought myself a coat and a winter hat. Jeez. My hair looks good. That is the ONLY reason I want to leave the house - my hair looks good. Jesus. It might not be enough though. I need a meeting and I need to meditate for a long time. I also need to exercise - I totally got out of my yoga swing. I was doing so well and then in Florida my aunt told me to do sit-ups and it ruined me. I keep thinking how she said she wanted to hook me up with someone "after I start doing sit-ups." I had worked so hard to get to the point I was there. Jesus. I am not okay today. I think I should write my morning pages also. I am being hard on myself. How can I fix this - I feel stuck. Okay - Jesus. I will be back later.