Lord.

I was so grumpy with the cab driver this morning. It is so frustrating to be paying for a cab and then on top of it - he honked at ME to pick me - totes aggressive and then just mosied along. He was - ugh - I don't know. It did occur to me after I got out that perhaps he had a hearing problem and that he didn't speak English very well. He didn't want to drive the way I wanted to drive and when I asked if he had a better way he ignored me. He also was sort of argumentative and going "Okay - okay" in a 'calm down crazy lady kind' of way. Jesus - it made me so mad and it made me upset that I was being a jerk and not trying harder to just communicate. He just didn't do what I WANTED and it made me so fucking mad. There has got to be a better way to deal with that kind of situation. I'm doing the open mike before work tonight to get ready for the show on Sunday. I'm actually excited. I have 2 new jokes to try tonight. It has taken me so long to write on here this morning because I feel so guilty for being a jerk to the cab driver. So I no longer wanted to focus on writing or doing my work because then I'm taking care of myself and how do I have any right to do that - I was grumpy to a cab driver?? I didn't swear at him, steal from him - not pay him or even yell. Okay - but I was a turd and I need to talk to Her Lady Wonder about it. I wanted to bring my uke here today but I thought that was really pushing it. Literally only one person has come in here today. Oh wait two. Two people. Weird. I totally got mad at work last night (shocker) and then I breathed (what? opened my mouth and focused on my breath) and it got so much better. I tried that so many times in the cab today and it didn't work. I was just annoyed and I couldn't let it go. I swear to God I thought the guy was fucking with me and being a jerk on purpose. I know that it isn't true I just couldn't shake or breath my way out of being a turd. I HAVE TO GO!! Bye Bluebie - love youbie.