Completely filled with rage.

Poisonous, awful, angry rage. Is that a thing even - angry rage? Happy rage? Fuck. I hate this job - I do not want to go there. I am so annoyed. I asked her if I could buy a sweater - she said she was giving me one from last year and she did and both are too big and one is the ugliest color you have ever seen. I am so fucking annoyed right now. I hate this job. I hate my life. I am so upset all of a sudden. I should have never gone and gotten that stupid fucking hair cut with my friend. It ruined my week - now I picked up this shift and more ruined. I have nothing. I know that isn't totally true. I am so fucking mad. I have to go. I really want to just quit this job. I hate the other one also. Here we go - I am getting depressed, angry and starting to have an existential crisis. I dreamed about my dead grandmother. We were at this creepy beach house. Maybe a lake house. I didn't like it. She was dead and I could tell by her hair line and her finger nails that she was starting to rot - just a little. She knew she was dead and she was complaining about my grandfather and how ever since she died she is annoyed at his behavior - how he just sits around and hangs out. There was something about the water and a big rock in the dream. I hated it. Lord have mercy I think I have PMS already. My boobs are seriously hitting the bricks - or starting to. I am not okay - at all. I think this is the time where life starts to get worse and God help me it was never okay. I am dreading - DREADING - doing the 3 doubles over the next 3 days after today. That guy last week - he's so gross and my money depends on the ego of a disgusting creep. If I showed you a picture of him you would be like "ohhh - I get it." It's all in his photo. I can't take it anymore. All this misery and unhappiness and total frustraion. Now people are starting to act like I'm a weirdo because I am not dating or have a boyfriend. How am I supposed to do that when I can't HAVE A GUY OVER? I can't even look at him today. I hate him so much. I'm so stuck. I am so fucking stuck. Really not okay. I do not see today going well at all. Douchey upper east side women is not going to go well today. Maybe something magical will happen on my way to work. I have to go. I am already running late.