Monday, April 7, 2014
Still not sure - and not sure how to deal with it.
He was having a hard morning yesterday and I was also - working that brunch and I got my period - ugh - I was just tired and it was extra crazy and busy for some reason. Then - I don't know. I just don't know if this is going to work out. He has to go through this divorce and it's painful and it's really weird to be falling for someone while they are going through something. It isn't about his ex-wife - it's other family members - but ugh - I don't know. Also - also - I - what? Well I had a bad day yesterday - but because of him. I'm just kidding - I was having a hard day anyway - so - so I don't know. Am I setting myself up? I felt weird on Saturday - which I am going to feel weird - I have issues - but it made me think of my friend who said "If you don't feel good - if you aren't happy - it doesn't matter why - you shouldn't be with that person." Okay - alright - but he was talking about the guy I was dating last year - the one who was 14 years younger than me. This is slightly different - well a lot different but - I just don't know. I have the day off today and I have a ton of stuff to do so I am up early and I am going to get to praying and meditating so I can start my day. It feels better to write at least. We did talk last night so that was good and I got a good night's sleep but - well - I just am not sure. Oh sigh - life. Love you Bluebie bye.