I'm so bored of having low self-esteem.

I'm not kidding - I'm over it - it's boring.  I walked to that dance class tonight and it was fucking POURING rain out - I got completely soaking wet - right?  So I take the class - cancel the writing so I could get home.  The class was great - I'm out of shape and was hoping sex counted as exercise bt apparently it doesn't - because I am chubbs.  So I got home and did my hair and my nails and now I'm feeling bad for myself that - what?  I'm not skinnier - not on Saturday night live - not gay - whatever - right?  And then I was like "OH MY GOD I AM SO BORED OF THAT!!"  I really just fucking am!  I am so bored of low self-esteem.  Who does it help and who cares?  I wan to grow.  I just got sooooo fucking tired.  Good night Bluebie.