Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Leave myself alone.

I'm realizing more and more how whenever I have any kind of negative feeling ha - or really any feeling at all or thought - anything - I stop myself and berate myself for it.  I do believe that is being hard on myself.  Actually I think it's being impossible on myself.  Holy fuck!  So now - these last couple of days - when I have anger - I say I'm having anger and there is nothing wrong with that - it's my reaction to it that matters and not acting on it.  Unless it's to get up and move or use the energy in some other positive way.  So.  So today - already - so many times I'm just stopping myself, being hard on myself for being human - for having these same negative thought patterns, Victimy thought patterns I have had my whole life.  But now - now I don't have to do that anymore.  I can be kind to myself, recognize that I am human and that people and situations can bring up negative feelings and thoughts and it's totally natural.  Am I making sense?  Oh BOY - fucking psychology 101 everyday here at  CooCoo Central.  Is it exhausting reading this because it's exhausting living it and trying to work it out!  Ha.  Love you Bluebie bye.

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