Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Leave myself alone.
I'm realizing more and more how whenever I have any kind of negative feeling ha - or really any feeling at all or thought - anything - I stop myself and berate myself for it. I do believe that is being hard on myself. Actually I think it's being impossible on myself. Holy fuck! So now - these last couple of days - when I have anger - I say I'm having anger and there is nothing wrong with that - it's my reaction to it that matters and not acting on it. Unless it's to get up and move or use the energy in some other positive way. So. So today - already - so many times I'm just stopping myself, being hard on myself for being human - for having these same negative thought patterns, Victimy thought patterns I have had my whole life. But now - now I don't have to do that anymore. I can be kind to myself, recognize that I am human and that people and situations can bring up negative feelings and thoughts and it's totally natural. Am I making sense? Oh BOY - fucking psychology 101 everyday here at CooCoo Central. Is it exhausting reading this because it's exhausting living it and trying to work it out! Ha. Love you Bluebie bye.